Ladders

Before reading Jeremy Narby's book, The Cosmic Serpent: DNA and the Origins of Knowledge--I watched Lars Von Trier's latest film, Melancholy. I dreamt that same night, after being exposed to the reoccurring, almost base image I found in Melancholy. The front lawn.

The characters are set in a manor, and the lovely house has a beautifully simple lawn in which, with a Magritte sense of surrealism, we see a sky with both a moon and a smaller earth-like planet--both casting two shadows onto earth. Much of the character's observations of the planet, Melancholia, occur under this perspective. We, the viewers, are placed with our backs to the front of the house, facing out into the sky, cup-framed by the u-shape green of the lawn and trees. Its this exact view that I saw in my dream that night. In the dream, I can't recall if it was day or night, it probably doesn't matter. In the middle of the lawn, however, I see a ladder. Erect, without any support, the ladder reaches upward. I don't climb it, nor does anyone else. There isn't anyone to climb it, at least I don't remember anyone being present. The ladder is perfectly centered and just stands there, being. This is the only part I remember from the dream.

The following day, a Friday, at work I briefly join a conversation about Time and after my shift has ended I end up in Shakespeare & Co. Booksellers. I am looking for anything on Time and practically have an anxiety attack upon picking up Einstein's work on relativity. The Cosmic Serpent caught my eye. If nothing else, the cover was a whole lot better than some of the other books. Somewhere along my debate on whether or not to purchase the copy, I opened up some pages and immediately found the word LADDERS, actually it was THE LADDERS! (all caps). I had watched a set of youtube videos by Freedom of the Soul, entitled DNA & the Serpent's Lie. These should've been the first to come forward along the forefront of my memory but all that came was the ladder from my dream. This, along with my interest in genes started by Richard Dawkins, lead me to read Narby's work.

I'm not here to review The Cosmic Serpent, which I did in fact enjoy. I'm not here to review Melancholia, which you've by now guessed and which I also did enjoy. I am not going to rant on about coincidences either but the one thing I got from Narby's work, is the idea about flexibility. Be flexible, keep an open mind--don't be afraid to connect things around you. In an Alan Watts jovially british voice, I hear someone say "play with the universe because it certainly wants to play with you."

Half-remembered Dreams

Two Amnesiacs are Beating Together

Where does the memory of me go? From second to following second, how do you place and then later, misplace it? How thin a thing these translucid accumulations of impression--so fleeting like a brief scent or a half-remembered dream. That you could not recall my name as you hours earlier pronounced it syllable by syllable, attached to the equivalent of a smile in your produced inner-voice. The features of my face become collected ghosts at the haunted house, hollowed by your howling thoughts. You follow my shadow and forget its generator, its a marionette with enough illusions as you've got imagination. You're distracted your space with forms on walls and sidewalks, over ceilings and wherever else light pushes my obscure doppelganger. Why is it so difficult to hold fast to that which I am, within you, momentarily?

What traces of me do you spare, if any? You can't see that I am still there--that, neither enough time has passed, nor enough experience to change me so suddenly. Drastically, do you dispel me--Brash and abrupt, you run and steady yourself balanced at perspectives so darkly transfigured, you'd not recognize your own face through that fog. I can't fight the thought of me--inside your head, its battery is governed by the venom you request it to produce. I am lost in your mind and can make no difference of height, distance, and width--I am without dimension there.

And you won't speak it. Its all nothing to you. Its gathered in ambience. You're weak against it and when you try, its all but fracturing to your nature. You won't tell me the specifics of what brings you there--you won't share with me anything but the parthenogenetic disdain and contempt hosted by the imaginary shades of conviction you so worship, thus concluding it a sin, to break that reverence. And if spoken, then I haven't heard it and I apologize for my deaf consciousness. I am no further free of blemish than you are. I listen to the words that probe you and instantly, supplant myself at their reception and mark the apprehension and defense necessary to endure such irritating sounds. I sound ridiculous against your silence.

As the universe expands, all matter within it, follows suit; and in expanding, all things grow further and further apart. Divergence leads to variety, and as the more variable we become, the more we break away. A separate species, later a separate genus, family, order, class, kingdom, etc. And at some point, like an insect to a plant, we'll stand similar. But remind yourself of me, of my not so deceased impression, take from it enough to rightfully evaluate who I am in the present and chance me the love you felt and somewhere still feel--We can evolve as one.

It makes me angry, but you're never around to see it--It brings me so down that I jump to the first chance to start fresh when you return with all your memory as you normally habit. I am as quick to forget you, as you are to forget me. So, I repeat, I am no further free of blemish. I forget about your ghost moods, and then in such a horrible pattern, shake into fragments when they return--One would think I had as much amnesia as you. This is why we must chase catharsis, if the attempt seems of interest. If we continually feel life within ourselves for one another, we must then continually remember who we are? If anything happens, it should happen in truth. Thus, if we're meant the future as our present, then we'll adapt, or perish in our failure.

You're Most Beautiful When You're Free

I wish her prosperity, I wish her dimension, in which she can see beyond depth--distance, height and width. I wish her smiles and the accumulations of joy. I wish her hands that never forget to reach, that never hesitate to let go when its time. I wish strength to her bones and extra connections to her thoughts. I wish her balance and the means to utilize the information the universe whispers at her ear. Forwardness, not necessarily judged by success but by flexibility. I wish her the play and the dance, the toy of dreams and the blurring of the future--the inviting presence of a never-ending Now, that wants to say hello, kiss her back in the morning and say to her "you exist and there is nothing else in the infinite universe who is you right this minute."

Notes on Darwin's On the Origin of Species

Natural Selection: Cain & Ability

Before starting on what is probably the most important chapter in Darwin's On the Origin of Species, let me just take back some of the things I initially wrote about Charles Darwin as an author. It just took about a chapter and a half to get myself orientated and discover ground on which to stand and receive Darwin's language. Incipient species, genera, variability, all these ideas sort of jump out of the first chapter and somewhat overwhelmed me. But they have all been stretched and expanded on by Darwin, he illustrates good and coherent examples of his notions. And by the beginning and throughout the 4th chapter titled, Natural Selection--the hardest thing to do is lose interest. The closing summary where Darwin brings forth the cliche example of a tree to explain the branching of life was beautifully delivered and it almost seemed thrilling, as if I could feel his excitement through his words and punctuation.

The purpose of these notes were suppose to help me understand the text as I read it but now that I feel confident, I probably won't write a chapter by chapter entry for On the Origin of Species (OOS). This might be the last for a while unless something remarkable should pop up in the book.

In reading this work on evolution and the theoretical evolutionary mechanism known as Natural Selection, I feel like I'm just reading the details to what I already knew. I guess you can say if it were a movie, I read the plot synopsis on the back of the DVD and am now watching the film. I knew what I was in-store for but the actual details are worth the extended experience.

Time acts on earth, bringing about change to the physical planet and the living things that live there. If these living things evolve forward in time to meet these changes then it could be through an concept called Natural Selection. Natural selection says that all these individual living things are varieties of one another and in the way they vary, if any new difference is to their individual advantage then ever-changing nature selects that variation. It selects it because as nature changes, obviously those that remain relevant with the included changes can make the most out of life in nature or earth. And if the variation continues to benefit the individual, it might gradually form a variety of its species and then that species of its genus and so on and so on.

After reading Darwin's full explanation I closed the book and thought about change. Thought about versatility and how its always the ability to adapt to circumstances that allows things to move forward. Successful Life is flexible. Not Life as in human social status but Life as in biology, as in everything alive on earth. All flexible cells and DNA that altered this way and that depending on what they had to deal with. Some went extinct and took with them the dead-end ideas while others took advantage of their own variations that found a way to be supported by the simultaneous variations of their surroundings.

Its as if Nature, like the Judeo-Christian God, gives favor to one offering over the next, as in the story of Cain and Abel. Only that the extinct species doesn't murder its sibling species, unless one states extinction to be the murder of the shared common genes that went wasted into creating these non-adaptable fallen branches. But even in such a tactless thought, the common genes remain favorable through the surviving species--modified into collaboration with new genes that ultimately make the difference.

Don't Stop Now; Play the Whole Thing

I was listening to Genesis while Mini was getting dressed and packing things in the other room. I didn't stop her. She left quietly and without saying anything. I thought she would take more things but it seems its just her laptop and a bag or two of clothes. There's nothing one can do. I'm in her head just floating around like a helpless virus, walking from room to room, some chambers are random zones of anxiety and paranoia, they have their own realms and by walking in, the thought which is me, instantly is adopted and becomes part of that anxiety and paranoia that is after all just a theory not a fact. But fed back to the mainframe, its felt and so its real. And the real me, outside of her head becomes a testament of the thought of me--We become one and the same. And so for no other reason than that the thought of me is at the wrong place at the wrong time, the real me bothers her.

As much as I care, I'm not going to hold on or hold her back from whichever which way she chooses to go. With me, she may come and go as she pleases. While listening to Selling England by the Pound for the first time, I heard a few moments that I wanted to replay and hear it again because they were really good. But I didn't, I'm letting the album play out completely; so that I may experience it in its fullness and not attach myself to one specific point. I loved those points of Selling England by the Pound the same way that I love Mini but love isn't to be influenced by fear. I can't fear that I won't love Mini if she isn't with me or that I won't be who I know myself and love myself to be without her. If she doesn't feel the same, then maybe she should leave and discover for herself what can cause the removal of such a distracting fear.

Everything Mini makes me feel is a song in a full length masterpiece album that began when we met and will end when we play out the full extend of our social interaction or relationship. I don't want to stop the record and repeat any of the songs or song segments, I want them to pass through me and in doing so, a unified, uninterrupted experience will mark the evidence of quality, the reflection of all the emotions and stimulations that emerged from our album, can be measured as a whole. Rather than focusing on specific parts and attributing to them weight that can never fully match the album as a whole.

Count on Me to Never End

Infinity and Possibility

Before going in on this nap, I'm going to take a few moments to write the following. During the overdue but understatedly refreshing shower I just experience I parked my mind on the idea of numbers. Numbers are amazing, the infinite alphabet of math and logic (if any difference between the two need be observed). Time, distance, weight, mass, velocity, proportion, volume, all these are measured in numbers, addition, subtraction, division and multiplication. The entire universe is information and most of this information can be translated into numbers.

Now, I'm no numerologist and I admit, while all these conjured reverences on numbers were not present in my shower it was only because it took just one to keep my brain in awe. Possibility. Infinite possibility. Just by adding, just by knowing that numbers have no end--you can be fully aware that logically there is such a thing as "no end" as "infinity". Have you ever heard two kids competing in terms of numbers, they'll say things like "Oh yeah? Well Superman can fly a million of a million miles away from earth" while the other counters, "yea but Green Lantern can fly a million millions of a million..." and so forth. The sentences will just get longer and longer until one of them tires, thus loses the argument. By simply adding the number one to the proposed number, they could more effectively, to their energy, exhibit the example of infinity.

By knowing that any number plus one is not only one number higher than the previous but also a simultaneously unique and never repeating unit of an un-ending string of generative theoretical fact, we can know or understand that there are examples in reality of infinity. The possibility of any number is endless; any and every combination of Number is possible. You could invent any number and it will turn out to be a number. I wrote theoretical fact and it sounds like an oxymoron but its true that addition by definition, grows endlessly but its only theory to say it never ends. There can exist, by a very irrational principle that none of us can imagine, for which numbers can end--that a last number does exist. For now, such a principle is unknown to the point where it seems unlikely to exist, so therefore, as the information reveals itself, numbers are infinite.

If numbers never end then great and small numbers are just a matter of relativity. One second is 1000 milliseconds, a microsecond fits 1000 times into one millisecond, so in one second we find simultaneously 1,000,000 microseconds. Thats a great and small number happening at the same time. If you're a human, seconds are perhaps the smallest units of time worth noting, anything smaller happens too fast, its irrelevant to us. Likewise, a millennium is far too large a collection of centuries, decades, years, hours, minutes, and seconds--it exceeds that average human lifespan, therefore it would be silly or irrational for us to project our individual selves into, and plan for a thousand years from now. But if our lifespan were longer, say millions of years, then perhaps seconds would be like pennies to a multi-billionaire. Imagine what this relativity of time means for Possibility. If the chances of a rock turning into a bird by being struck by lightning are 1 in 10 to the 100 billionth power then in an infinite numerical universe where measurements such as time are agents of relativity, those chances are as good as gold. Think about it, if any large number such as 10 to the billionth power can be multiplied infinitely then how large is that number really?

Under infinite terms, if anything has at least one chance of happening then it will happen. And since it will happen, then it has happened and is also happening right now all at the same time. Think of each number as a note standing in for anything that happens in the universe, say that numbers 6,789 - 134,254,439,879,961 stand in for the event in which a rock gets transformed into a bird by being struck by lightning. It seems like a big number in the way that 134,254,439,879,961 microseconds is a big number but at the perspective of one day, 24 hours, its just a few seconds. The event happened in those microseconds and in that day at the same time. If 24 hours can be made as relatively small as a nano-second then everything that happened in that one day, will appear to have happened all at once.

I forgot how this started or where it was meant to end, I guess this is my version of a rock turning to a bird by being struck by lightning.

Notes on Darwin's On the Origin of Species

Struggle for Existence - In this, chapter 3, Darwin first uses Natural Selection in capital letters. Shit just got serious! This chapter stresses the checks and balances of nature and how a somewhat biospheric homeostasis exists for life on earth. Darwin gives examples of species and how they can be said to struggle against oppositions in nature that prevent them from pandemic monopoly. Under that same prevention, the natural "preventor" is then similarly prevented from over-success by another opposition in nature, creating a cycle of what seems like multiple participants in a governing body all ensuring no one department becomes too powerful and abuses the resources. Also outlining competition between different species, Darwin briefly notes, individuals within a species and confound to the same area, will be in competition with one another as they share similar needs to the same resources. This reminds me, shoots me fast forward to the world of Richard Dawkins and The Selfish Gene, where Dawkins touches on aggression and evolutionary stable strategies in the chapter titled, Aggression: stability and the selfish machine. He ends the second paragraph thus:

Natural selection favors genes that control their survival machines in such a way that they make the best use of their environment. This includes making the best use of other survival machines, both of the same and of different species.

Included in the struggle for existence are obvious instances in which a species or individuals of species are caused to compete and sometimes even battle for resources. Whether it be inter-special, in the case of Dawkins exampled lion and antelope "competing" for the meat of the antelope's body or between two lions fighting over territory. The chapter in The Selfish Gene introduces Evolutionary Stable Strategies (ESS). Not easily explained in so few words but in a nutshell, "a strategy which, if most members of the population adopt it, cannot be bettered by an alternative strategy." Using ESS models in regards to aggression between same species, we can see that natures eventually produces order in stabilize competition between these individuals. ESS also apply to inter-special competition just under different models--meaning what works between lion and lion will differ between lion and antelope. If all of these aggressive interactions between individuals, regardless of species, living relatively together in the same ecosystem, are regulated by ESS then it follows that natural selection favors individuals who do not deviate from models which ESS have ruled as dominant among species.

Do Androids Wet Dream of Becoming Dating Electric Sheep?

ON THE POSSIBLE EXPANSION OF INDEFINITE EMOTIONAL PARTICIPATIVE NETWORKS

I am amidst a social interaction with a member of the opposite sex. The interaction is somewhat exclusive in that it is unique among all my other social interactions with members of the opposite sex. The exclusivity is the product of a full year of communication, interpretation, and physical experience. Through this exclusivity, this member of the opposite sex and I have created an environment of both language and emotional participation. Episodes of events, as experienced by our shared perception, isolate us from others. Our constantly evolving interests, which dictate our activities, remain relevant to us and in relation to one another, we continually remain curious.

The emotional participation between this individual and I records or documents, in us both, a network of definitions and various maps of connections between these definitions that should in theory, perpetually expand. It is often enough the case that individual episodes of events, contain elements that reference these definitions or connections to definitions. In other words, memory creates new meanings for subjects seemingly unrelated to the social interaction between this individual and I. Nonetheless these meanings expand the emotional participation between the participants of exclusive social interactions.

Given that examples of similar social interactions between other individuals seem to be uniform and somewhat characterized by time, comfort, and stability; ours is no different except we substitute stability with consistency. Consistency is a form of stability, true. But in my understanding of consistency in regards to exclusive social interactions, stability is a state that may result due to consistency but consistency is not so much, under such terms, a product of stability. The current social interaction between this member of the opposite sex and I is not stable. Yet, even void of this stability found in other relationships, this individual and I, are consistently engaging one another through ever-changing, unstable channels of attention.

Our language and emotional participation is self-stimulating to the organism of exclusive social interaction. Empathic and at times even telepathic insight becomes present. Consistency appears to keep us relevant in relation to one another. We are theory in the experiment to which no result emerges to prove or disprove its practicality.

I am amidst an exclusive social interaction with a complimentary individual, which stimulates and identifies in me, a consistent curiosity and thus a significant emotional participation. I am exclusively available to define through multiple episodes of events, generative examples of intimate networks subjectively shared between this individual and I. Interlaced and infinitely receptive, there is no reason why these networks cannot expand indefinitely.