06 September 2012
03 September 2012
23 August 2012
How important is self-image? Say if, everyone thinks you're a joke and you're the only one who doesn't know--Are you what you think you are or what others see of you? Is it like that bothersome tree in the woods that doesn't fall because no one is there to hear it? Is the Self limited to this sort of participation, available only as reflection or echo, never there unless bounced off a surface; and certainly not a thing indigenous to and sustained of its own accord--Is a person defined by their own perception or by that of those who come in contact with them, or is it how much these two are at odds that profoundly illustrates the character of an individual?
10 March 2012
11 February 2012
MEMORY IS WASTED ON MEMORIES
The last time I saw Noah Baumbach's film Greenberg, was when it was in theatres back in 2010. Watching it again tonight was weird because I remembered the film much differently. Having seen it only once doesn't help but I could've sworn that certain parts of the story have changed since the last viewing; or certain themes have altered in relevance. Maybe I watched a director's cut unknowingly or maybe its something else entirely.
Recently, I came across a blog about 9/11 and human memory. The author stated that neuroscience has concluded through studies, that human memory is not kept in one permanent state that is conjured up continually in the same form it was originally stored. Meaning when we think of a memory it all depends on our current mood and state of mind, the same memory today could have made you feel an entirely different way two months ago, and will most likely be an altogether different experience two months from now, depending on what happens in your life between then and now. But thats not all, not only does your memory change in context but also in content. The things that shape your life and its experiences also shape your memories, information and details shift depending on emotions and these are then stored as your memories which will later evolve even more when recollected at a future time.
What I remembered from Greenberg was perhaps relevant to what was happening to me in 2009. I wrapped the memory of that film in old newspaper which no doubt left the scent of what were the current events of that time. Thats why certain elements of the plot and theme aren't as prevalent to impress on my memory as they were when I first viewed the film. Its a very well written story though, both today and yesterday. The main part that sticks to me now is Ivan's line about how difficult it is to finally accept the life you never planned on living. That echoed for a few minutes after the scene. Regret is a very fucked up emotion, its the one I hate the most. But regarding how we store memories, its no doubt that with age, you start to regret things you never regretted before because the emotions attached to these memories have changed. On the positive side of this logic however, it should hold true that we, with age, also accept things we never thought we'd accept before because of where we currently are mentally. But how do we feel content without feeling as if we're compromising? How do we feel as if we're not simply settling for less?
I don't know. I just have the question, nothing of an answer seems to participate. I do know that at some point what a person wants, what a person strives for and attempts to create for their self, this becomes less important and the effort seems like a harrowing chore rather than a natural part of your day when its based on desperate nostalgia. Its as if the body recognizes a visitor that has overstayed their welcome and slowly stops accommodating this imposing guest.
Like Ivan, this is not the life I thought I'd be living but from where I stand, living the life I imagined doesn't seem as important as the one I want to maintain and make the most of in the present. Its sorta like saying:
Okay I wanted to live this way but didn't and thats okay because it doesn't matter now; but I am disappointed that at one point it did matter and I didn't respect that enough to make it happen--so now let me make sure I respect how I want to live and make it happen.
And that, I believe is the best any of us can do, until our memory tells us otherwise.
05 February 2012
I SHOULD BE ASLEEP
Not writing. Not cleaning. Not thinking. Not awake. I should be asleep. Very little times do I respect that biological stamp of necessity, very seldom do I admit that there is nothing better to be done with my present time than shut everything down and sleep. Its been a long day. Full and perhaps confusing at a few turns but it was, no doubt, a good, long day where the present was heavy with new places and ideas. Yes friends, today I earned my sleep.
But if awake, I shouldn't be awake for what I'm awake for. I shouldn't be writing what I writing. There were so many ideas today on what a city is, what social classes were and the interactions of either two on college towns. Thoughts on films, thoughts on music, thoughts on food and technology and yet none of these occupies the attention of my forced insomnia. None of these hold enough weight right this instant. I should just go to sleep. But I just don't get why I get included in things that have nothing to do with me. I just can't piece together why a situation is made into THEATRE when it just could have been w a t e r , something fluid which moves and adapts to any shape. My eyes are starting to itch.
29 January 2012
The Days are Literally Getting Longer
There is a phenomenon called Tidal Acceleration, its the accumulative result of the Moon's tidal force acting on our oceans. The Moon presses down on Earth like a comfortable lover and this impression pushes the oceans down to the ocean floor when under the Moon. The oceanic movement (waves) produced by this effect actually slows down the Earth's rotation at a rate of roughly 1 second every one hundred thousand years. 400 million years ago our daily rotation was 22 hours long, with shorter days comes longer years unless the revolution around the sun has also decreased, we most likely had 13 months in a year. In short, the years are getting shorter and the days are getting longer.
In purely hypothetical projection, this means that a time will come when one earth day will be as long as one earth year. Of course, scientist believe the Sun will become a Red Giant and Earth's oceans will be a dream before we even reach a 30 hour day. Still hypothetically, if left to continue perpetually, the Earth will also reach a time when the year is shorter than the day; so we spin around the sun faster than we make a daily rotation.
Even though none of these hypothesizations will ever come to be, one thing to note is how much our time is a product of our planet's behaviour. We count time by how fast the planet spins a full rotation and by how fast we revolve around the sun, neither of these have any significant effect on universal time which passes with all its disregard for what's happening on Earth. We're continually disconnecting ourselves from the universe and shutting ourselves into the nature of our planet. And there's nothing wrong with making Earth your priority, especially if its your home but your mind is universal and its home continues to expand while the Earth's constricts. Something to keep in mind since the Earth and our Solar System are both made up of Universe.