Don't Stop Now; Play the Whole Thing

I was listening to Genesis while Mini was getting dressed and packing things in the other room. I didn't stop her. She left quietly and without saying anything. I thought she would take more things but it seems its just her laptop and a bag or two of clothes. There's nothing one can do. I'm in her head just floating around like a helpless virus, walking from room to room, some chambers are random zones of anxiety and paranoia, they have their own realms and by walking in, the thought which is me, instantly is adopted and becomes part of that anxiety and paranoia that is after all just a theory not a fact. But fed back to the mainframe, its felt and so its real. And the real me, outside of her head becomes a testament of the thought of me--We become one and the same. And so for no other reason than that the thought of me is at the wrong place at the wrong time, the real me bothers her.

As much as I care, I'm not going to hold on or hold her back from whichever which way she chooses to go. With me, she may come and go as she pleases. While listening to Selling England by the Pound for the first time, I heard a few moments that I wanted to replay and hear it again because they were really good. But I didn't, I'm letting the album play out completely; so that I may experience it in its fullness and not attach myself to one specific point. I loved those points of Selling England by the Pound the same way that I love Mini but love isn't to be influenced by fear. I can't fear that I won't love Mini if she isn't with me or that I won't be who I know myself and love myself to be without her. If she doesn't feel the same, then maybe she should leave and discover for herself what can cause the removal of such a distracting fear.

Everything Mini makes me feel is a song in a full length masterpiece album that began when we met and will end when we play out the full extend of our social interaction or relationship. I don't want to stop the record and repeat any of the songs or song segments, I want them to pass through me and in doing so, a unified, uninterrupted experience will mark the evidence of quality, the reflection of all the emotions and stimulations that emerged from our album, can be measured as a whole. Rather than focusing on specific parts and attributing to them weight that can never fully match the album as a whole.

Gnosis

Gnosticism and Awareness

In Gnosticism, the material world and realm are evil and dominated by the demi-urge (lower god) Yahweh. Recently, this idea was reintroduced through the Matrix films. The Matrix program would be like the realm of Matter controlled by the evil, wrathful, and easily jealous deity who's plan is to enslave consciousness. Just like these films, beyond the realm of The Matter exists the true world and the true creator Sophia (Knowledge). It is only through Gnosis (Knowledge) that one may transcend and see the truth. I like Gnosticism for this idea, that knowledge is the only way to get to God--While most of the time we're told Faith is the key.

In the Gnostic interpretation of Genesis, the serpent is an agent of Sophia who helps Man temporarily free itself of Yahweh's dominion by disregarding the demi-urge's instructions to not take from the Tree of Good and Evil (consciousness). As a result of their disobedience, Yahweh casts Adam & Eve from Eden for fear they may take from the Tree of Life and truly become God-like (free).

The Serpent, who is exclusively always related to Lucifer in this story is like the Greek Prometheus, who brought fire to Man from the Heavens against the desires of the Gods who didn't wish to share this knowledge with humans. In fact, Lucifer means bringer of light -- furthering the connection between the two myths.

Sophia, the true creator, wouldn't care whether we were conscious or if we were immortal. She isn't threatened by any way if we were to become as she is. She doesn't care or protect, she simply only is--And everything is Sophia, she is the universe and everything within it. The only issue is that not everything within her is aware they are 1. Inside her and 2. One with her.

I don't believe there is a demi-urge. I am not Gnostic. But I do believe that our gnosis is limited purposely by the design of Nature for biological survival and that this limitation has left us disconnected with Sophia. And further I believe, it isn't necessary to see or know Sophia but if we do discover this need within ourselves then the only way to connect is by expansion of consciousness (gnosis). All religions based on Faith and Worship are a distraction of our senses. Sophia doesn't need love, doesn't need prayer, she is complete and there is nothing you can provide for her that she cannot accomplish herself. She is the true pure creator, destroyer, and preserver of the Universe. It is the Nature of Man that is personified by the Gods Man has created for himself. It is the Nature of Man to lie, steal, and be disloyal if it will improve his chances of self-preservation; it is the Nature of Man to seek love, respect, and power; the Nature of Man is wrathful and jealous and the Gods of Man follow in Man's Image, not visa versa.

If you feel you are in a prison then your desire becomes to be free. Likewise, if you are conscious and realize that the physical world you inhabit is a limitation of the Universe you could experience, then your desire becomes to free yourself of the physical and transcend to the true realm. Following Sophia will bring you nothing if you have fear of the unknown, if you don't really want the truth, if you are not curious. Established religion's biggest ally is fear, namely the fear of death and the corresponding fear of being alone. However, through expanded consciousness, one may experience that death and loneliness are not threatening at all. A peace has been made with the mind regarding these matters. And you're main inspiration for experience becomes to know yourself and in knowing yourself knowing Sophia, The Universe.